Day 1 October 23, 2015

Day 1

This whole process terrifies me.  Why I am not sure. I have decided I will figure it out as I go, as I walk.  So here I go.  It is a beautiful day, the sun is shining, the temperature is cool yet the sun is warm. Perfect! I start from the front porch.  I would rather sit in my chair and sip coffee, so I sit down for a minute, say a prayer. 

Lord I don't know where this walk will lead, or where this year will take me, but all I know is I want to go there with you.  I want to walk and talk with you.  I want a road to Emmaus experience.  Please be with me and if it be your will may I see you and experience you! Amen

The red seed pods on my magnolia tree
caught my attention
How beautiful the red is. 

I often get caught up in all that needs to be done at home and in me and forget
how bountiful the blessings and the beauty is.

I have been on walks down this road many times.
Never seeking to see Jesus. Never to seek for beauty.
It has always been about how fast, how long, my
heart rate.  I'm always consumed with body loathing.
Today... I can walk (for that I am so thankful!), I have
eyes to see ( for that I am so thankful!), I have a nose that
is breathing in the beautiful fresh air( for that I am so thankful!)
Today there is no room for anything other than seeing Jesus, experiencing Jesus!

The sunshine warms me.  It is amazing how it feels on my skin, on my face.  As I walk past the trees there are moments of cool shade and then the warmth of the sun breaks through.  I know there will be days when there is no sun to warm me,  or days when the sun is too hot, but today, today the sun is healing.  Today the sun almost feels as if it is nourishing my soul.  I know it isn't the sun but the SON!  Jesus thank you so much for the sunshine! 

As I come around the corner I find myself tearing up.
What is going on? Why so emotional.  I am enjoying this!
I am enjoying, the experience of Gods beautiful creation!
As a little girl I would ride my horse and find beautiful places
to soak up the sunshine, to listen to the wheat in the wind.
I would spend hours experiencing God.
Today is the first time in decades that I am doing the same!

This sign puts a smile on my face.
I remember when it was added protection to my
children as they road their bikes on this road,
played with their friends.  I remember Sarah wiping
out on her bike at this very spot and getting road
rash all down the side of her body.  I remember so much.
Life is so different now.  I enjoy the memories.  Then
I start to go to regret.  Wishing I had...nope stop it Beth!!
I will just praise God for the memories and praise Him that
this morning I don't have children to chase and am
able to take the time to walk and remember.  This is a scary
new place, but one I'm going to embrace.

I turn around and start the walk home.  By this time I am in awe.  I am in awe of the sky the depth of color.  I am in awe of the interesting tree on the hill.  I am in awe of how much I am enjoying the walk when my focus is on Jesus.  How many other things in life could go from being a dread, a failure, if we changed our focus.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2

My walk is almost over, I'm so overwhelmed with... I'm not sure... joy? relief? maybe Joy.  Then as I see my house sitting on the front porch basking in that beautiful sunshine is my man! What a perfect end to a new beginning.  I love him so much.  Then he points to the corner of our yard and there are three deer feeding on our lawn.  I can't get a picture before they run off.  Wow God is good.  I'm filled to overflowing.  

Well day one is done.  I did it.  As I joined Chris on the porch we started talking about my walk and I couldn't keep back the tears.  I wasn't even sure why I was crying. Today was an emotional experience.  I enjoyed my time with God.  There were moments like when the dog came charging off his porch toward me that I realized fear has been one of my excuses or reasons for not going. Today though I faced the fears, said hello to a neighbor I didn't know, loved experiencing nature, listening to the birds, feeling the sunshine, seeing the spiderwebs dot the lawns, seeing the deer, and so much more.  I am thankful to start this journey and I am looking forward to tomorrows walk.